Birds nest

As you all know, I've moved to New Hampshire (see earlier posts about Maple Syrup, etc.). From a culinary perspective, Hanover is a healthy chef's paradise; it is the land of organic vegetables from the farm stand, locally-raised meat from the farm in the next town, and fresh-baked bread from one of several local bakeries. A few of our friends raise their own animals for eggs and meat, and absolutely everyone has a vegetable garden. It is a place filled with wholesome, fresh, healthy goodness everywhere you look.

So... imagine my surprise when I encountered THIS at the Hanover Street Fest:

This is a Bird's Nest. It is a hard-poached egg in a nest of greasy sausage. It was so horrifying and yet so alluring... and it smelled *great*, especially after all that healthy organic tree-hugger food I've been forced to eat lately.

Kerry ate four.

So here's the challenge for Dietz (or any of my fellow grease-loving foodie friends): make this at home. The sausage was NOT just a patty shaped around an egg. Rather, someone had painstakingly molded sausage into a hollowed-out egg shape, then filled the center with an egg. The egg was cooked perfectly. You could pick the whole half-egg shape up and eat it by hand... sort of like a deviled egg. Except... more devilish. I challenge anyone to try this at home and post the recipe.... cause I can't figure out how to make it.

Of course, this doesn't quite live up to the bacon-woven pig-fest that Dietz created back in May, but.. it seems easier, and still wicked unhealthy (as we say up here). I might even send it to thisiswhyyouarefat.com.

I am now back on my rigorous diet of mulch and dried leaves - oops, I mean Healthy Local New England Food. *sigh*

I Scream, You Scream

I blame the other 3 forks. They have all left me. One, went off and moved to California and now another moved to New Hampshire just before the real Texas heat. And now the third has gone with her family on a whirlwind trip with her Professor husband (who apparently actually takes vacations) and two kiddos, undoubtedly visiting only the colder states of this lovely continent. And they have left me here, in the heat to battle some innocuous problem with my AC where, unless it rains, keeps my house at a blistering 84 degrees, INSIDE. And our once fabulous playgroup, which kept me semi-sane, sometimes drunk, but always happy, is now taking a hiatus. Since . . . I am the only idiot left here in the heat.

So, what have I done in response? I have taken it upon myself to start learning to cook everything cold. Preferably in ways that allow me to open my freezer continuously, for a nice blast of cold air. Seriously who in their right mind would of settled here before air conditioning?

What is the best thing made in the freezer? Well, ice cream of course -- allowing me to finally test out that Ice Cream Mixer attachment for my Kitchen Aid that I just had to have 2 Christmases ago, but have failed to use for lack of freezer space.

Now you can consider the other 3 forks saved from my wrath. For it may be hot, but I now have made the most unbelievable Marionberry Cheesecake Icecream. Or better yet, we can consider ourselves all saved, because this is so freakin' good that it must somehow be linked to an ethereal spirit. At bare minimum, it has saved my marriage -- because I am nothing less than an angry growling, sweaty bear these days. And as soon as my husband thinks of kicking me to the curb, I make another batch of ice cream (chocolate creme fraiche, anyone?), and he once again becomes a very happy man.

It's Hotter than Hedes Here - Marionberry Cheesecake Ice Cream

1 cup graham cracker crumbs

2 tablespoons granulated sugar for crust + 2 tablespoons for ice cream

1 teaspoon cinnamon

4 tablespoons butter, melted

1 (14 ounce) can sweetened condensed milk

2 cups buttermilk

1 (8 oz. package) cream cheese, softened

2 1/2 tablespoons lemon juice

1 1/2 tablespoons lemon zest

1 pinch salt

1/4 cup marionberry (or seedless blackberry) preserves

Note: Unless you have that fancy Cuisinart model that requires no pre-freezing, you will need to stick your ice cream mixing bowl in the freezer overnight (mine says 15 hours, but I think the longest I have actually made it was 12 and it worked out fine). It is also wise to chill your ice cream mixture, once made, in the refrigerator over night. This may not totally be the case for this one, since most of the ingredients are all cold, but after a sad attempt at making chocolate creme fraiche ice cream sans pre-chill last week, I am too scared to try otherwise. Just chill it, and you don't have to deal with any anxiety while it churns.

1. Place ice cream mixing bowl in freezer overnight.

2. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. In a pie plate sprinkle graham cracker crumbs evenly over the bottom. Pour melted butter on top ad then follow with sugar and cinnamon. Use your hands to incorporate all of the ingredients a bit and then press firmly into the pan (like you would if you were making a graham cracker crust for a key lime pie). Place in oven and bake for 17 minutes, or until golden brown and firm. Remove from oven and allow to cool. Break into small pieces and place into a ziplock bag to be used the next day (or you can make this an hour or so before you plan on placing your ice cream mixture into the ice cream bowl).

3. Combine buttermilk, sweetened condensed milk, cream cheese, lemon juice, zest, and salt in a blender or food processor. Process until smooth. Taste and add up to 2 tablespoons of sugar, or to your liking (you will want the mixture to be just on the underside of sweet, the graham crackers make it more sweet when added). Pour into a container with a lid and chill in the refrigerator overnight.

4. On the next day, pour into your ice cream maker, and follow your manufacturer's directions to turn into ice cream. Once done, gently mix in your graham crackers. Then, using a small spoon, make even dollops of the preserves along the top of the surface. Then using your spatula, gently fold in the preserves to create a ribbon effect. Transfer into a covered container and place in freezer for at least 4 hours (or overnight, again) to harden.

They Say It's Your Birthday....

Last night, we celebrated my husband's birthday.
With way too much sangria, but that's a story for another day.
And the reason why I'm a bit grumpy today, but you didn't hear that from me.

We're not big into the whole gift giving, hubby and I. Well, I like gifts, but have given up hope of ever receiving one so we've now resorted to cooking for each other on our respective holidays.

Originally, he requested that I make spaghetti and meatballs. Which is good, but not if you have fifteen people coming over to celebrate and it's hotter than an inferno outside.

So, we changed the menu. To a man's meal- steak and potatoes. But, I did manage to modify it slightly to satisfy the ladies that would be attending. (Not that there was any ladylike behavior after the large amounts of sangria, but that's a story for another day).

I settled on Bistro Steaks with a Provencal butter- from Ina Garten's latest cookbook. I couldn't find the cut of steak she recommended, but did get some gorgeous strips of tri-tip from Costco. Basically, you put an obscene amount of butter in your food processor with chives, thyme, garlic, lemon zest, pepper, capers and anchovies. Process it all up, form it into a log, try to not make poopie jokes, and pop it into the fridge.

Douse your steaks with olive oil, and then rub kosher salt and herbs de provence all over them. Grill them for about 4 minutes on each side, and serve em' on up with some poopie herb butter dolloped on top.

I roasted some asparagus and baked some potatoes (sour cream and chives! Pedestrian, but oh so good) and attempted to make this:. Which was a disaster. Because the frosting wouldn't set, and my house was hot, and the whole dang cake slid around more than I do when I've been drinking glog and ice skating.

So I dumped it into a bowl. And named it, "The Birthday Bowl."(original! I know!) It tasted good. And after all that sangria, no one really noticed.

Maybe he'll go back to getting me presents again. You never know.

Casseroleiffic

Ladies, a quick and easy weeknight meal - and a quick and easy post!

This is from my sister-in-law, an excellent chef - she makes it for "babysitter nights" and any other occasion when a make-ahead kid-friendly casserole is in order (playgroup, anyone?).

2/3 pkg of egg noodles (or regular pasta if you prefer) - broad width
1 can of tomato sauce (15 oz)
1 lb of ground beef (if you like more beef - and we do! - use 1 1/2 lbs of meat and add anther can of tomato sauce above)
1 tub (8 oz) cream cheese
10-12 oz cottage cheese

Cook the noodles - use enough to fill the bottom of a deep casserole dish to about three inches.

Mix the entire tub of cream cheese with 2/3 of the tub of cottage cheese until mixture is well blended.

Brown the beef on teh stove and drain the fat. Add the can of tomato sauce to the beef and bring to a boil.

Dump the drained cooked noodles into the bottom of the casserole. Layer/spread the cheese mixture over the top of the noodles. Pour the beef and sauce mixture on top fo the cheese so that the beef is spread evenly over the top.

Cover and bake a 350 degrees until the sides of the casserole boil (approx. 25 -30 mins).
Let cool for a few minutes before serving.

Makes 4 servings.

Base of Cakes

It turns out that a blog only works if you actually POST to it. So - apologies to my fellow 4 Forks for my prolonged hiatus. My only excuse is my distress over packing and moving. Lately, our household meals have all ended in "N'Cheese" or "nuggets."

All I can offer is one lone culinary adventure in recent weeks.

I have been reluctant to embrace the Food Network. I know that my Fork pals love it, watch it, enjoy it. Some of their children have even learned to mix their own cocktails courtesy of Food Network shows. But, after a few unfortunate Rachel Ray viewings, I gave up.

Then, I discovered Ace of Cakes. Full disclosure: I discovered this show by watching Jon and Kate Plus 8. What can I say... we all have our vices, and mine include these ridiculous mavens of product placement.

I called Kirstin and mentioned that I was thinking of baking the cakes for my kids' double-kid birthday party, because I had been watching Ace of Cakes a lot. To her credit, she tried to talk me down from the ledge, warning that this was like saying "I saw the Sistine Chapel, so I thought I'd take up painting." But did I listen? NO!!

I baked. Foolishly.

First, I made an unfortunate "Sandcastle cake." Having dutifully downloaded pictures of cakes that looked like they were made of sand, I hosted a playgroup and created a sandcastle. I wish I had a picture, but... suffice it to say that it was visually unappealing. It looked like it was made FROM SAND... and who wants to eat that, really? I used Nilla Wafers crushed for the sand; Kirstin tipped me off that brown sugar would have been a tastier choice. The towers were made from ice cream cones, which sounded cool but tipped over easily. Kira, my daughter, took one look and say "What the heck is THAT thing?" That was the end of that.

On the up-side, the experience yielded a great, moist yellow cake recipe (see below).

Two weeks later, the birthday was upon us. I had bought and abandoned fondant, and was back to sqaure one. Kirstin loaned me her cake-decorating kit and tuned me into Cakewrecks.blogspot.com... which made me feel better.

In the end, I made two very large cakes - one for each kid. Following is a brief photo essay that illustrates just some of the steep learning curve here, and a list of hits and misses from this experience:

Kira's cake was a beach scene. I made the icing look like waves by slightly over-whipping it, then using a small icing knife and a light touch. After the great sandcastle-cake debacle, I wised up and used brown sugar for the beach. The figures are Polly Pockets, hand-picked by the bday girl. She also insisted that the Lego tree go on there, and she hand-piped the bushes herself.



Owen had a soccer cake; Mommy had to veto the Power Ranger cake after multiple Rangers failed to stand erect on the test cake the night before. We gave up and broke out the Soccer Guys (a gift from Kristen, I believe!). He added the figures, the chocolate soccer balls, and hand-piped the white field lines himself.

The cakes were a big hit, and I was so glad that I'd done them.

Along the way, I learned some things....


Hits:
- Great, basic yellow butter cake recipe: Mark Bittman's How to Cook Everything
- Decent, easy buttercream frosting recipe, easily dyed: Also Bittman... although the Barefoot Contessa one is tastier, it was more time-consuming and got chucked after one test cake.
- Learned to trim cakes when assembling
- Learned the value of the "crumb layer" when frosting a cake: Assemble the cake with a light layer of frosting all around, put it in the fridge for 20 mins to firm it up, then put the final frosting layers on... allows for easier frosting with fewer crumb problems.

- Employed husband as forced laborer when mixing endless batches of green frosting.
- Discovered that kids actually prefer to use their own toys as cake decorations rather than wrangling fondant into less-attractive versions of their ideas.

Misses:
- Didn't accurately gauge the amount of cake necessary for a fairly large kid-and-parent party. I panicked at the last minute and made two-layer cakes using FOUR 9 x 12 pans for each cake. This made assembly difficult... I was essntially trying to cobble together half-sheet sized cakes with only a 9 x 12 inch pan to work with. Plus, I had to make two cakes in all... so that was actually 8 9x12 layers (4 chocolate, 4 vanilla). I had lots of cake left over, so something went wrong... but I couldn't have made it with half-sized cakes. I should have invested in a half-sheet pan.
- Hated my chocolate cake recipe. Ug. It tasted like... nothing. Like sponge.
- Didn't buy boxes to transport the cakes! Double ug! The cakes were big and really, really flippin' heavy. Had to creatively employ two unwilling trays intended for other purposes and force husband to carry cake on his lap all the way to the party. Lost valuable wife points.
- Failed to take Kirstin's advice to bake the cakes ahead and freeze them... so I did all the baking and frosting the day before/morning of the party, making myself utterly miserable and totally exhausted. Who knew that cakes so large would require SO much frosting??
- Wished I had put a Kitchen-Aid standing mixer on my wedding registry like everyone else... all that hand-mixing of frosting caused carpal-tunnel.




In conclusion, I learned a lot as a neophyte baker. I learned that I love baking and frosting cakes with my kids. I also learned that I will never, ever, ever bake big cakes like this again. Small cakes. Small ones. Small. With plastic toys on top if necessary. But not big. NO.

In the words of our non-cooking friend Demi, "You're baking your kids birthday cakes? Why would you ever, ever do that? There are plenty of bakeries in Houston that would be happy to take care of that for you." Smart lady... who clearly has not gotten sucked into Ace of Cakes.