I Scream, You Scream

I blame the other 3 forks. They have all left me. One, went off and moved to California and now another moved to New Hampshire just before the real Texas heat. And now the third has gone with her family on a whirlwind trip with her Professor husband (who apparently actually takes vacations) and two kiddos, undoubtedly visiting only the colder states of this lovely continent. And they have left me here, in the heat to battle some innocuous problem with my AC where, unless it rains, keeps my house at a blistering 84 degrees, INSIDE. And our once fabulous playgroup, which kept me semi-sane, sometimes drunk, but always happy, is now taking a hiatus. Since . . . I am the only idiot left here in the heat.

So, what have I done in response? I have taken it upon myself to start learning to cook everything cold. Preferably in ways that allow me to open my freezer continuously, for a nice blast of cold air. Seriously who in their right mind would of settled here before air conditioning?

What is the best thing made in the freezer? Well, ice cream of course -- allowing me to finally test out that Ice Cream Mixer attachment for my Kitchen Aid that I just had to have 2 Christmases ago, but have failed to use for lack of freezer space.

Now you can consider the other 3 forks saved from my wrath. For it may be hot, but I now have made the most unbelievable Marionberry Cheesecake Icecream. Or better yet, we can consider ourselves all saved, because this is so freakin' good that it must somehow be linked to an ethereal spirit. At bare minimum, it has saved my marriage -- because I am nothing less than an angry growling, sweaty bear these days. And as soon as my husband thinks of kicking me to the curb, I make another batch of ice cream (chocolate creme fraiche, anyone?), and he once again becomes a very happy man.

It's Hotter than Hedes Here - Marionberry Cheesecake Ice Cream

1 cup graham cracker crumbs

2 tablespoons granulated sugar for crust + 2 tablespoons for ice cream

1 teaspoon cinnamon

4 tablespoons butter, melted

1 (14 ounce) can sweetened condensed milk

2 cups buttermilk

1 (8 oz. package) cream cheese, softened

2 1/2 tablespoons lemon juice

1 1/2 tablespoons lemon zest

1 pinch salt

1/4 cup marionberry (or seedless blackberry) preserves

Note: Unless you have that fancy Cuisinart model that requires no pre-freezing, you will need to stick your ice cream mixing bowl in the freezer overnight (mine says 15 hours, but I think the longest I have actually made it was 12 and it worked out fine). It is also wise to chill your ice cream mixture, once made, in the refrigerator over night. This may not totally be the case for this one, since most of the ingredients are all cold, but after a sad attempt at making chocolate creme fraiche ice cream sans pre-chill last week, I am too scared to try otherwise. Just chill it, and you don't have to deal with any anxiety while it churns.

1. Place ice cream mixing bowl in freezer overnight.

2. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. In a pie plate sprinkle graham cracker crumbs evenly over the bottom. Pour melted butter on top ad then follow with sugar and cinnamon. Use your hands to incorporate all of the ingredients a bit and then press firmly into the pan (like you would if you were making a graham cracker crust for a key lime pie). Place in oven and bake for 17 minutes, or until golden brown and firm. Remove from oven and allow to cool. Break into small pieces and place into a ziplock bag to be used the next day (or you can make this an hour or so before you plan on placing your ice cream mixture into the ice cream bowl).

3. Combine buttermilk, sweetened condensed milk, cream cheese, lemon juice, zest, and salt in a blender or food processor. Process until smooth. Taste and add up to 2 tablespoons of sugar, or to your liking (you will want the mixture to be just on the underside of sweet, the graham crackers make it more sweet when added). Pour into a container with a lid and chill in the refrigerator overnight.

4. On the next day, pour into your ice cream maker, and follow your manufacturer's directions to turn into ice cream. Once done, gently mix in your graham crackers. Then, using a small spoon, make even dollops of the preserves along the top of the surface. Then using your spatula, gently fold in the preserves to create a ribbon effect. Transfer into a covered container and place in freezer for at least 4 hours (or overnight, again) to harden.